7.29.2006

The Cabin Series - Entry One: "Salvation 101 - or 2, or 3, or 4, or..."

It wasn’t really that long ago. It seems philosophies and mores change so quickly when you look at life in retrospective. (As retrospective as my twenty seven years allow.)
***
“...come in today, come in to stay, come into my heart, Lord Jesus.” I finished singing as dozens around me enjoyed the same enlightened feeling that had just enveloped me. They had been here before as I had, and here we were again - enjoying a clean slate. I couldn’t really pinpoint when I had lost it; when my soul had taken the journey over the line from light to darkness. Maybe one or two around me were “first timers,” those who were experiencing the Holy Spirit’s ‘tug’ for the first time, but for many of us - this was a familiar journey. We had taken the walk down the aisle to the ‘altar’ to lay our sins before God. We had slid back and if we didn’t re-commit our lives to our Savior - who knows where we would end up if we ‘died in a car accident on the way home from church’ (this was always presented very dramatically and was usually a guarantee that the altar call wasn’t a complete flop for the pastor who was obviously tracking his stats) or worse - the rapture (See: Isaiah, or is it John? No - Revelation... oh wait, it’s not in there!) happened.



Having seen those action packed seventies rapture flicks, I knew that if I survived the car wreck - that most assuredly would occur as my Father suddenly disappeared and a pile of clothes were left in the driver’s seat - I would have a chance of getting saved within seven years, but would probably die after my head was removed by a guillotine. I lived with this fear for most of my adolescence. I quaked every Sunday night during my junior high years when the preacher would ‘get a word’ that there was a young man in the crowd that was having impure thoughts and they needed to ‘get right or get left’ (Seriously - we had a modern day prophet on our hands). You can imagine the great relief I would feel when he was just having a word that there was a young lady who was drowning in some emotional sorrow.
***
Admittedly - It was a great learning experience for me. I began doubting some of the basic ‘theological’ beliefs that our charismatic church held during my last year of High School. When I entered one of that denomination’s colleges my Freshman year and took my first theology class, I was convinced I needed to make a change to somewhere that would give me a better look at theology from a post-Christ to now viewpoint. That stuff that came off Azusa Street after the Great Quake was too fabricated, too forced, didn’t last, and lacked approval from thousands of years of saints.

Much of my questioning was at the prodding of my friend, then girlfriend, and now wife. She made me question why I believed what I believed. And when I would question - a lot of the answers that typically rolled off my tongue didn’t make a lot of sense. I am forever thankful that she had studied and had continued to challenge what she believed. (See below - yep, those are “Gospel Tracts” Ang and Daniel are studying. If there is anything I have learned in my studies of theology, it is that most truth lies within those 2x4 inch booklets.) She has been the perfect wife of Proverb-like stature. I really love that she keeps our house in perfect order and that when I get home from work my dinner is ready... okay I can’t really keep going with this. She is amazing, but not because of her Martha Stewart qualities.


But Seriously, I am so glad the need for re-salvation has turned into the need for confession and communion with a God who will never leave me, and whose grasp I can never escape. (See: The Bible - that’s in there.)

2 comments:

Redbaerd said...

Sheesh, Ryan,

I thought the pictures themselves would be a great post -- instead you have to weave in great story-telling and a kind of grateful re-vision of our common kitsch-induced rapture-guilt. A well told story.

Not QUITE as well told as a Jack T. Chick Tract....

but close.

Anonymous said...

When I ask people about Jesus they usually start with his ridiculous birth. He was born from a virgin. Right there you should be at a minimum skeptical of what you are being told. Remember that talk about the birds and the bees and how now you know a stork didnt bring you. This argument may work though because its presented to you when you are but a child and can't reason about the subject yet and many are too embarrassed to question it.

Nonetheless... Other species on this planet can have virgin births. So lets pretend Mary had some lizard genes or what have you and spontaneously had a kid. (It should be a girl and cloned copy of her... but screw science right... this is jesus!) So she has a boy. Its possible.

Then this guy Jesus grows up... the whole account of him growing up is detailed in the book of thomas which of course you havent read because the bible has been editted for mass consumption. (Constantine et al.) So we dont know much about him growing up except he probably learned to talk very early, he didn't wet his pants or pee on his mom. (LOL) He was a perfect baby and a paragon of virtue.

So lets say so far you've accepted all this.

Ok so later he performs miracles like turning water to wine and you are still buying this story. Have you ever seen anyone turn water to wine? Is it even possible? Bear in mind the general populace (the Hoi Pollio) thought zeus hurled lightning bolts down from on high and now everyone knows that those people were out of their mind. Before Zeus there was another god and even today there are many gods all with equally ridiculous powers proven only by the fact that an ancient person for unknown reasons described a story in which they thought this happened.

Yet now we get to the crux of the situation. Jesus dies... And he dies for you. Then days later he comes back to life. no cpr... just days later poof hes back alive. So either David Blane has a great, great, great, granddad or you fell for a trick no one ever saw by some guy who claims he knew jesus and wrote down what happened 2000 years ago.

Now people like stories. I know. Dragonlance is awesome. But this accept Jesus or dont go to heaven story is for the gullible, low iq, ignorant masses. But I digress. There is more:

There is the Bible. A book writting primarily about mass murder, genocide and bouts of incest starting with adam and eve who populated the earth, again with Noah's family who... no cars or planes and this guy walks the planet and gets all the animals 2 by 2... you believe that too? (More later)

This book is not even fit to read to children. I remember a preacher giving a sermon on the sabbath and how your supposed to take that time to rest and thank god for all you have. So some people caught this guy gathering sticks and the village stoned him to death. The kids were all like horrified. You could even see them turn to their parents for guidance and the parents just blindly look on nodding.

You can't even interrupt the guy to ask a question and the seats are horrible. Its propaganda at its absolute best. I mean people eat this up and then come knock on my door and ask me if I want to be saved. They truly believe or atleast put on a good act.

Anyone who stops and thinks about this stuff will first deny, then disbelieve, then cry and then finally laugh. Disgust comes later with being duped for years.

I am seriously saddened and disappointed with people in general. When your kid asks, Dad where did we all come from?

Do you answer with... well first god created man and woman and they had sex and had kids. Then all the kids grew up as brothers and sisters and had sex with each other until there was a ton of people. Unfortunately God hated them ALL except for Noah and his family so he killed them all. He made it rain for 40 days and 40 nights and even 4 years olds and infants drowned because god only liked noahs family. You remember noah sweety? He got all the animals in the world. The penguins in antartica and the polar bears on the north pole. He missed the unicorns though. After that Noah's family repopulated the whole earth.

Oh I see dad just like Lot and his daughters who got him drunk in the cave after the fire hit Sodom and Gommorrah?

Right sweety, except those girls were mistaken. God only hated EVERY person in Sodom and Gommorah and not the whole earth this time. Those girls didnt have to sleep with their dad.

Ohhhhh.... So people lived after Sodom and Gommorah.

Yep.

But dad why did gods send angels to Lot in the first place if god is all knowing? Wouldn't he already know they would find anyone worth saving?

Well honey... thats because the bible is a complete set of contridictory stories assembled and editted by many people which serves little purpose but to teach people hatred and intolerance of those not of their religion. It's completely useless and largely historically accurate. The whole concept that a god could even exist is so flawwed and immplausible you'd have to be a blathering idiot to believe this stuff.

I know dad... just making sure you're not an idiot. Good night.