8.01.2006

The Cabin Series - Entry Three: Bambi Killers

There they were, those bright orange letters blaring through the black.

As a child, I was always slightly frightened of hunters. In my mind, they were always mentioned next to words like "trespassing" or "under the penalty of the law." I used to imagine hardened criminals wandering through the woods, practicing their killing on the forest creatures. The animated movie to which I allude in the title, only helped this theory.

Not only were hunters obviously criminals, they also had a very bad sense of style. I used to sit on the toilet leafing through old Cabela's catalogues. (A practice apparently inherent among the men in my family.) These criminals would wander through the woods, gun on shoulder and fake antlers clenched in their fists, dressed in the most hideous plaids you have ever seen. To top this off they could splash on a little fox urine to throw the deer off their scent.

I'm not condemning hunting. I'll chow on a venison taco any day of the week. I am of the mind that hunting could become a little more '2006' - a bit softer around the edges. A little more 'urban meets backwoods.' Maybe we could have a 'metro' hunting line? A nice fox pee and white tea lotion or flat front camouflage pants...

Just an idea.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh, Ryan. : )))

Carl said...

i think your idea of hunters walking around in plaid is a bit dated. not even sure how much fox pee is actually used these days. if you made hunting 'a bit softer around the edges', i think it would loose a part of what makes it worthwhile and enjoyable.

Kate Rudd said...

Yeah. Everyone knows that what makes hunting worthwhile and enjoyable is shooting something, then watching it die, then draining it's blood, flaying it's skin, and piecing it out for taxidermy, food, clothing, or furniture.
It seems that flat front camo pants would just take some of the magic away.
But hey. I'm just a romantic, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness I peed my pants reading this!!! Paul signed me up for hunters safety this month I am totally excited!!! :( I will be the only pregnant lady shooting a gun there I am sure. :) After this deer season you and Ange can come over and we will have Venison Tacos. :)
I can't imagine strapping a dead deer to the top of my Pink Cadillac someday but Paul can dream.